Motherhood - advice on my situation

[iona]

I'm not really sure where to turn to when looking for advice on this subject, as the mass majority of the internet would just tell me that motherhood doesn't matter, so I figured this may be a good place to start.

It's a long story, but I am in need of guidance on my situation, as it's not something that has a clear-cut answer.

Growing up, I had no interest in motherhood, though a lot of that could have to do with me being sick. I was diagnosed with brain cancer at 14, which then led to me having surgery to remove a large tumor the size of a clementine from my right temporal lobe.

The surgery messed me up. I was left wheelchair-bound, spending years learning how to walk again. I also had trouble afterwards with reading/focussing my eyes, memory, and reading-comprehension, which I also spent years in therapy for. By the grace of God, through therapy I have been able to regain a lot of ability of those issues. I was also able to graduate high school, though a bit later than my peers, with the help of an IEP.

Though those issues are mostly behind me, my biggest scar left from surgery (besides the one on my head) is my epilepsy. My first grand mal seizure was 5 days after my surgery, and since then I have been on a full regimine of anti-seizure drugs. Though the drugs help me a lot with frequency of seizures, they are still not controlled.

Now, my question here: when it comes to motherhood, what do I do?

Throughout the Bible, motherhood is encouraged and celebrated, and as a Christian I want to honor that. With my health, though, having a baby would be very dangerous for both me and baby.

At a baseline, taking an anti-seizure medication increases the chances of birth defects or fetal mortality by 3x, these chances increase if taking more than one medication. I was just put on a second medication after having two grand mal seizures in the past 12 months, even while on medication.

I just turned 25 last month and got married this past April. I love my husband and would be open to starting a family with him, however, the more research I do about pregnancy and epilepsy, the more I worry about this being a bad idea.

I've talked to him about these things, and he has been open with me saying that he just wants me to be safe and that if having our own kids isn't in the picture, that's okay.

I'm seeking advice from other people of faith. What do I do in a situation such as mine? Family is such an important part of God's design, and while most likely not physically infertile, having a baby of my own doesn't seem to be a safe idea.

Thank you for reading️

[standaceblueberry]

I don't know much about epilepsy and don't really have advice about it, but my prayers are going up for you and your husband through all of this. Have you ever considered adopting? It's a big thing to consider but there are precious children out there in need of loving homes️

[sammiesosa]

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing as you mentioned, but may not be ideal if someone has a pre-existing medical condition that puts self and baby at risk. You would not be operating outside of God's purpose if you cannot procreate due to health circumstances. Best case is to speak to a trusted healthcare provider to see if you can navigate pregnancy safely based on modern advancements. I leave you with Psalm 113:9 God “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.” ( He provides family in different ways—through spiritual children, community, or adoption)